George T. Oliver

George Theodore Oliver

George Theodore Oliver, age 83, sank his final eagle on May 14, 2026 — presumably after exhausting his last supply of Jameson and people to irritate. He has since taken to the skies to reunite with his wife and daughter, who we can only assume have had adequate time to prepare.

George spent the better part of six decades playing with balls of some sort — baseball in his youth, golf as he aged, and the emotions of everyone in a thirty-foot radius for the entirety of both. His truest passion, however, was getting a rise out of absolutely everyone around him. He treated whoever was unfortunate enough to be within earshot as both audience and subject matter, and your visible frustration was a standing ovation. Historians believe he was fueled entirely by Irish whiskey and the specific joy of watching someone else’s blood pressure climb. George died as he lived: smirking, and with someone nearby trying very hard not to react.

In his youth, George was considered one of the premier pitchers in the Northeast — scouts from the Milwaukee Braves arrived to watch him while he was still a junior in high school. He traded the certainty of fame and considerable wealth for the considerably nobler path of service, enlisting in the U.S. Navy. Upon discharge, he returned to the diamond in the Twilight League, where his gift for elevating others’ blood pressure remained, as ever, criminally underappreciated. He was also, it should be noted, a hell of a bowler.

He is survived by his golf clubs — which outlasted a liver that frankly deserves its own commendation — and a rotating cast of friends who swore, every single Thursday and sometimes Sunday, that they were absolutely never playing with him again. George was uncommonly lucky to carry friendships across nearly his entire life: Craig Murray, his friend since the third grade, and Paul Hart, his companion since high school.

He is preceded in death by his beloved wife Marilyn and his cherished daughter Courtney.

Services

Graveside Military Honors will be held on Saturday, May 30, at Memory Gardens. The Patriot Guard Riders will be recognizing and honoring George’s military service. Attendees should meet at the gate at 9:00 a.m. for a procession to the gravesite.

Following Saturday’s regular golf game at Colonie Golf Course, all are invited to raise a glass of Jameson and share their stories of why George thought he was funny, beginning at approximately 2:00 p.m.

Attendance is optional. Suffering is not.